TRUTH
“Where are we going?” She asked
“Hell, eventually.”
And we laughed.
HIGHWAY DRIVING
Life is driving down a long highway,
Where every twenty minutes
He passes a cross.
EYES
An eye for an eye leaves you intact,
As long as you don’t take any eyes.
CODA
The town was saved!
The damsel married the hero!
Then they slowly grew apart,
(Their love was tied to the quest, after all)
And they divorced on his thirtieth birthday.
He fell back in love with a whiskey bottle.
They’re very happy together.
LOVE
He was not a perfect man,
But he had a perfect car
And that’s close enough, sometimes.
JOB INTERVIEWS
This is to see how well you can lie,
How frequently you can lie,
And how convincing your lies are.
Truthful answers will result in dismissal.
POETRY CONTEST
The person whose writing is the most like ours
Will be awarded fabulous prizes
And allowed to pick someone similar
For next year’s contest.
Sausage
Don’t ask how the sausage, regulatory policy,
Sister, Brand-name clothing, universe,
Veal, scripture, lipstick, carbonated drink,
Brother, favorite song, Santa Claus,
Rocky Mountain Oyster, or diamond ring
Is made.
PROBABLY HOMOPHOBIC
Now, I’m okay with gay guys,
But I wouldn’t want one dating my daughter.
A RED FOX
I saw a red fox in far-flung fields,
I tried to get close to it
But it called my Aunt Esther ugly.
HAIKU
First, five syllables
Second, seven syllables
Wait, something has gone horribly wrong here.
Happy National Poetry Month, everyone.
